THAT WAS THEN

words and music © 2013, Kate MacColl

It’s not very late, but I’m drinking and thinking this ain’t where I thought I would be
Alone, with a heart full of unfulfilled dreams and a phone that stays silent for days
I ask myself what would the Younger Me say to the Older Me crying tonight
Bitter and angry and desperate for more, I sit in a fear-fuelled haze I feel
Hours turn to weeks and then years, for better or worse and a whole lot of tears
Hope is a comfort I cannot afford but looking back costs even more

THAT WAS THEN, THIS IS NOW, I AM
STUMBLIN’ AROUND AND I CAN’T EXPLAIN HOW, THAT WAS
THEN, THIS IS NOW I AM
SLEEPIN’ ALONE, I AM ALL ON MY OWN, THAT WAS
THEN, THIS IS NOW

I pinpoint the time that I could have gone straight but I turned left and then I turned right
Blame every locked door on losing that key, the same key that opens my heart
So walking this road I am lost and can’t find any landmarks to show me the way
Not that I trust my own guidance right now, Thought I would just fake the part I was
Cast to the wind without warning, it’s a dark night with no sign of morning
Hope is a comfort I cannot afford but looking back costs so much more

REPEAT CHORUS

Bridge:
Why the Hell isn’t this easier? What did I do to deserve this?
Who did I hurt to earn karma that’s killing me? When will this pain end? Where is my bliss?
Start coming to terms with my failures, I’m now face to face with a wall,
Stop wanting to turn back the clock and stop time, stop thinking I once had it all

REPEAT CHORUS